I know I am ... but what are you?
I have come to the inevitable (and probably self obvious to others) conclusion, that I'm not going to improve in my ability to play hockey. It's been a gradual realization, made more apparent by the improvement in my golf game. I started playing golf a year ago and I'm substantially better (don't get me wrong, nobody is trembling on the LPGA). I started playing hockey almost 4 years ago and I'm pretty much at the same level as I was when I came out of the beginner program.
It's a simple combination of age, lack of natural ability and lack of practice. I love the game and my attitude has never wavered - I enjoy the camaraderie, the exercise and the excitement. I'm proud of the skills, however meagre, that I've garnered along the way. I want to play the game, I don't want to watch it.
Playing is the crux of the matter.
Last night I played a game, in which I might as well been a pylon. The opposing team had so many highly skilled players, that carried the puck end to end at such speed, that I might as well not even bother to be on the ice. It was frustrating, but due to their mockery, it was embarrassing also. One individual on their team even made disparaging remarks about my level of play when I attempted to take puck from him.
Such a game isn't fun for me, I fail to see why it would be fun for them.
I play in a league that it supposed to be both co-ed and for the low to mid level player. This is a recreational league, a beer league would be the best description. It's a league where my skills belong.
I get it why some guys want to play in low level league, so they can play with their buddies (or in my case, so my husband can play with me). What I don't understand, is some of these better players seem to feel that they have to showcase their abilities as if the scouts from the NHL were sitting in the stands. If you're 18 years old and just out of AAA hockey, of course you're going to fly by the 49 year old premenopausal woman whose been playing for four years. I get it the first time it happens, you're young, you get carried away, but when it's still happening in the third period and then to mock me at the same time ... well now you're just looking pathetic.
It was frustrating. It was demoralizing. It wasn't fun like the game is supposed to be.
In a way, I feel sorry that there are people who need to make themselves feel better, by making others look bad. Buddy, if the highlight of your life is streaking past me on the rink, then your life is pretty small.
I still went out afterwards and had chicken wings and beer, enjoyed the company of good friends, bitched and complained about the game and then let it go. I got to spend the evening playing with my stepson (whose highlight of the evening is the premium beer, which he doesn't get while away at university); I then got to return to a beautiful home. to a husband I adore and my stepdaughter who will play golf with me tomorrow. Life is good, I still won.
