If but for chips ....

I try to avoid this aisle when I shop

I love chips!

Nothing fancy, just your basic regular plain chips.  If I'm feeling wild and crazy, I might venture into salt and vinegar variety.

The major problem with this love affair is that the chips love me too.  In fact they love me so much, they don't like to leave me.  They love to linger on my hips, thighs and stomach ... sigh ... such a sensuous, yet tragic love affair!

I know all about Will Power.  At times Will Power is also a very good friend of mine, yet unfortunately, he's far more fickle than Chip, he has a tendency to desert me if Chip gets a little too vocal whilst I'm wandering the aisles at my local grocery store.  I do try to avoid the street where Chip lives, but his neighbour across the road is Perrier, my effervescent Parisian friend, who is so good to me.  Thus when I call upon Perrier, Chip begin his siren's call from across the aisle, of course that's the exact time that Will, perhaps exhausted by Perrier's presence, decides to decamp.  Sometimes Will doesn't show up for hours, days or weeks.  Lets be honest, Will took an extended vacation this summer.

Funnily enough, my friend Chocolate also lives in this aisle, yet she usually is quite understated and quiet.  Sure she murmurs sweet nothings in my ear from time to time, yet usually Will is around during those times (I think he has a crush on Chocolate) and prefers to keep Chocolate to himself.  It's extremely rare that Chocolate will accompany me home from the store - the friendship remains distant and cordial, though she's always there for me when I need her.

Every girl loves a bad boy and Chip is my bad boy!  It seems cruel that when I have a hard time with Chip and decide to break it off, it's usually Chocolate that's there to console me instead of Perrier (of course, sometimes she's a bit too bubbly to have a around during a bad break up).

I thought I had left all this emotional angst behind me High School, but I'm starting to figure out that it may be a life long thing.  I think in the future I'd better be a lot nicer to Will, since I can clearly see that Chip hasn't aged a bit and will continue to look quite yummy for a long time yet.  At least my trips to the grocery store will never be boring.

I would eat more Tomatoes, but it turns out Tom is a fruit!  (hey, I thought it was funny).

A girdle by any other name -

These are really a 1950's version of -

Compression shorts just sound way more cool than the word 'girdle'

So it's been back at the gym for me, with the various sins of my rather enjoyable summer along for the ride.  I can't dwell on the fact that my weight loss train became somewhat derailed over the summer - all I can do is get back on the horse (or the train, if I don't want to mix my metaphors) and keep on riding (which works for both metaphors and literally, since I ride the bike at the gym).

One little nifty piece of clothing that I wear at the gym are compression shorts that I wear under my regular gym shorts.  This allows me to use the various pieces of equipment without showing anybody my underwear.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm no prude and I really couldn't care less if anyone in the gym saw my underwear, but some of the old boys might get a little bothered (whether that might be a positive or negative experience for them, I refuse to dwell upon).  The other excellent aspect of the aforementioned compression shorts, is that it helps to hold in some of the 'jiggly' areas of my body. 

Truth be told, compression shorts are really the new girdle of the new millennium.

Sometimes lycra can be a girl's best friend.

There's a company out there called Spanx that does the same thing with lycra, though it's meant to be worn under regular clothing.

of course the heels help

Compression shorts aren't trying to be a girdle, they're intended for serious athletes (or people like me who pretend to be a serious athlete).  Yet the really great part about them, when I enter the gym, which is covered on one side with floor to ceiling mirrors, my sins are somewhat camouflaged.   The compression shorts make me look better than I really am - at the end of the day it's all about self image and when you think you look good, there's a good chance that you might come back to the gym.  Thus a positive cycle is set in motion (which is this case is correct by literally and metaphorically). 

It Can't be Because I'm Getting Old!

Doesn't everybody do their shoulder presses in the ocean?

So I'm back at the gym.  Absence did not make the heart grow fonder.

As I previously blogged, I've decided to approach this process as a marathon and not a sprint.  Thus I've revamped my exercise program, alternating days with cardio and weight training.  My cardio is now a walk on the treadmill at 3.8 mph for 45 minutes, focusing more on burning fat, so I can bring the weight down and alleviate some of the pain in my knees.  The weight training is all about changing some of my jiggly bits, into less jiggly bits.  Plus there's the whole muscle burns more calories than fat thing, which is good for me, because I like to eat!

So Monday saw my first day of weight training begin.  I decided to use the machines, instead of the free weights.  I know there's a lot of pros to the free weights, but I can get in and out in just under an hour if I use the all the machines I need, and I've realized that an hour is the extent of my interest in working out. 

The club where I work out is part of a golf and country club.  The clientele, or rather members are on the whole, my age or older.  One has to reach a rather comfortable financial spot in life in order afford a membership here.  Being retired (or unemployed, but I prefer the term retired), I'm free to work out during the day, which is when the other retired people are working out too - many of them with a personal trainer.  During my time spent in the gym, I've met a few of them.  One of my favourite's is Ruth, no Ruth has to be pushing 90 years old, she's had a double mastectomy, a hip replacement and has buried three husbands (as you can tell, Ruth likes to chat).  Ruth works out every day with the attitude, if you don't use it, you loose it!

When I arrived at the gym, Ruth was working her way through the machines ahead of me with a personal trainer.  Since Ruth is less than five feet tall, the trainer has to adjust most of the machines for her stature, which means I have to adjust them for me (sans trainer).  Ruth uses the lightest weights, so I have to come along and adjust the weights upwards/heavier to achieve the resistance that I require for toning.  This went along predictably as I worked my way around the circuit untill I came to the shoulder press. 

When I had been working out the previous winter, I had not done any shoulder presses.  There were so many other problem areas on my body that required my attention and as far as I could see, my shoulders weren't jiggly.  This time around I decided to add the shoulder press, since I've enlarged my weight training process.

Thus I approached the machine, adjust the seat (after Ruth's previous height challenged state) and naturally added on more weights than Ruth was using.  I settled in, and went to raise the weights above my head ... I must have adjusted the machine incorrectly, because I couldn't really move the weights!  I got off checked everything over, but it all looked to be in good working order, plus Ruth had just used it.  I shrugged and thought well maybe I'll just take off a bit of the weight, when lo and behold ... I could just barely move it!  I had to take off almost of the weight before I could properly do my reps! 

Oh the shame, oh the ignominy!  Ruth could do more in shoulder presses than I could.

I clearly have a long way to go ...

Tuesday I was pretty stiff and sore from the new regime.  I know this will take perseverance.

Maybe I should find a 100 year old member and follow them when I weight train!

And So It Continues ...

My husband John came home from his yearly physical last week with a generally clean bill of health.  Of course there was the usual caveat about the need to lose some weight - this in turn forced me to confront the fact that over the course of the summer, I too had slowly put on a few ... maybe more than a few pounds.  I had been assiduously avoiding the scales since early July when I came within 4 pounds of loosing the thirty pounds that I had originally set out to loose earlier this year.

Let me back track a bit.

I had been quite good about going to the gym, the 5K run that I completed with Julie had been an excellent goal, but my knees were really not taking too well to the continual pounding that I was subjecting them to.  I was constantly popping anti-inflammatory aspirins.  I knew that I was too heavy to be running so much, that a wiser course of action would be to lose the weight and then start running, but I was in such a hurry to lose the weight.  I had such grandiose plans about competing in triathlons ... but you know what they say about best laid plans ...

I fell off the exercise wagon with a whimper not a bang.

I started to play golf more and more.  It's a game I enjoy and something that John, the kids and I could do together.  We generally walk the course and it's a very hilly course.  I thought I was getting enough exercise with the golf and let the gym fall by the wayside.  I was also playing hockey once a week.  I thought I had my bases covered.  I thought wrong!

Walking the course, even in the extreme heat that we had this summer wasn't much of a cardio workout.  Then after we played 18 holes, I'd be tired and we'd order pizza for dinner.  With hockey, we played at 6:45, which meant there was lots of time afterwards for pizza and beer - you can see where this is all leading ...

I put back on 10 pounds this summer, plus the muscle that I had so painfully cultivated in the gym returned to its rather nasty, jiggly state.  I'm not back at square one, but I'm not where I should be.  So it's time to get back in the saddle again. 

I had a great summer, but it's time to head back to the gym.  I've realized that this process is a marathon, not a sprint.  This time, there will be no desperate plan to lose weight, but a return to regular exercise and eating healthily in moderation.  There'll be treats here and there, since let's be honest, life has to be enjoyed too!

So stay tuned, as I continue my weight loss journey.  Maybe as I progress, I'll actually admit how much weight I really have to lose.  Let it suffice to say it's a lot.  The thirty pounds that I initally set out to lose was just the first step ... now I have many steps. 

I will do this.

Being a Nomad

Sometimes, you just have to leave ...

In another month, I'll be starting to play in a new hockey league.  This will be my fourth season playing hockey and my third league, somehow when I started to play this sport, I never envisioned that a nomadic existence would become part of the process.  

I have played on some great teams, with some incredible people.  I've forged new friendships and won championships.  I've learned new skills, as well as recognized some limitations.  In short, I've discovered so much through hockey, but what still eludes me is finding an appropriate league to play within. 

My illustrious (said firmly with tongue in cheek) hockey career began in a league called True North Hockey.  Its primary attraction stemmed from the fact that it offered adult beginner hockey.  The first half of the season was spent acquiring basic hockey skills and the second half of the season was spent playing games against other beginners in the same league.  It was an idea situation for me.  I was also lucky, in that I was placed on a team that consisted of many wonderful people.  I played in True North for two years, the arena wasn't the greatest (on one of the ice surfaces, the gates to the bench would barely open), the change room washrooms only had urinals (quite the logistical problem for a female), but what became fairly obvious fairly quickly, was that adult recreational hockey was really about the social aspect as well as about the hockey (in that order).

Regretfully, John and I had to leave the league after the conveners of the league agreed to let Jamie play with us in their summer league and then suddenly reneged on their agreement, yet refused to refund our money.  In short, they took our money, but wouldn't let him play all the games that were paid for.  In the end we were put in the untenable situation of being right, but if we protested any further our team would be penalized. 

It's a life lesson;  in that being right doesn't necessarily equate with being treated in the right way.  We couldn't teach our kids a lesson about the honour of standing by your words if we didn't live by the same tenets ourselves.  Our teammates tried to argue with the league on our behalf and did threaten to leave the league, but in the end, being right is sometimes lonely and our team chose to stay in the league whilst John and I moved on.  We knew it was our battle and not theirs, and there were no hard feelings on our part, but it doesn't lessen the disappointment that we felt in having to leave.

Luckily we landed on our feet (or skates as the case may be) in a new league called Hockey Toronto.  It was a loosely run league for low to mid level players that was suitable for my skill level.  Again we were fortunate in that we were placed on a team that coalesced well.  There was also another married couple on the team (which is rather rare in hockey) as well as another female who played while her very patient husband faithfully watched from the stands.  The six of us soon formed the core group at the bar, with the other members of the team joining in at various times. 

Like True North Hockey there were issues with this league as well.  The schedule was rarely posted more than a week ahead of time, which made it difficult to plan around with regards to work, meetings and picking up kids from work.  It was supposed to be a co-ed league, yet some of the teams didn't have any female members and at times the rosters seems to be somewhat elastic from week to week, since some teams would have highly skilled players come out to play which would result in a less than enjoyable experience for a low level player like myself.  On the whole though, I enjoyed the league and decided that it was better to accept it for what it simply was, rather than what I wanted it to be.

Unfortunately, Aaron, who is half of the other married couple on our team, as well as being a key component in our social circle (he's really good at pouring the big team pitchers that we get at Boston Pizza), had a run in with the convener of Hockey Toronto.  To be honest, I'm still confused as to what the issue might have been and since I wasn't privy to any of their conversations and interactions, it wouldn't be fair for me to comment on them.  In the end, Aaron was asked to leave the league.  Suffice it to say, I was faced with the decision of leaving with Aaron (lets be honest, John would play wherever I wanted to play) or stay with the team.  It all became somewhat similar to the song I know an old lady who swallowed a fly ...  Aaron leaving meant the his wife Meghan would leave,  Aaron and Meghan leaving meant that Leela would leave (which meant her husband Randy would leave too) since the three (+ 1) of them joined the league together.  Leela was the one that gave our son Jamie a summer internship at her company ... So job and beer pouring ... it was a simple decision - John and I decided to leave the league too.

So once the dust settled, it appears that we'll be playing in the Russell Hockey league.  I'm now under no illiusions that there won't be issues with this league too.  At least it's a league for players who are over the age of 30, which should be a bit better for us.  I'll let you know how it works out - I know Toronto is a big city, but I think I'm running out of hockey leagues ...

Practice ... I Mean We're Talking About Practice!

 One of a least 100 pictures I have of

Guinness leaping in the air to catch the ball

He's a dog who puts everything he has into chasing a ball -

every single time he goes after the ball

The other day, John, Madie and I were playing nine holes at our golf club.  The course at our club is a challenging one with narrow fairways, a great deal of water (the Don River intersects the course 14 times over 18 holes) and some challenging bunker placements.  Overall the course demands forethought and an ability to place the ball; rather than hitting it and hoping for the best (which is how I usually play the game).  But, lo and behold on the 9th hole during my approach shot to the green, from about 130 yards out, I sunk my shot!  It was a spectacular shot to an elevated green, that landed about 10 feet from the pin and promptly rolled in.  If I was a pro and it were a televised game, it would have certainly made the highlight reel!

To say the least, I was absolutely gobsmacked (such a great word, that North Americans don't utilize enough)!  Though I have to admit a great deal of luck went into the shot and I probably couldn't come close to repeating it ever again in my life.  I ended up double bogeying the hole (I know, quite the accomplishment given my final shot), due to a rather unfortunate tee shot that ended up in the river, yet even with the unfortunate score, I was quite happy, because what I think is happening, is that all my practice is starting to pay off.

I practice golf, far more than I practice hockey.  It shows in my golf game and it certainly shows in my hockey game!

Guinness, is our family dog.  He's a rescue dog whose highly attached to our family and to chasing a bright pink tennis ball.  At times, I think he'd have a hard time deciding which is the more important to him, and in my heart of hearts, I fear the tennis ball would win out (but only if it's bright pink).

Guinness is walked three times a day now.  Actually the term 'walk' is a bit of a misnomer, since the only walking that takes place is on our way to or from the park (or school grounds or beach).  Once there Guinness single mindedly chases a ball.  Oh, there are odd interruptions to take care of doggy bodily functions and he might deign to give a fellow pooch the odd sniff, but all in all, he's incredibly focused upon chasing said pink tennis ball.

He's absolutely amazing at leaping and twisting to catch the ball in mid air.  He's never been taught to do so and he's quite aware that he can remain on the ground to catch the ball, but I think he prefers the challenge of an acrobatic catch.  We use a device called a "chuckit" which is an elongated arm that holds a tennis ball and allows the thrower to gain far greater distance with their throw (another positive to this device, is that it allows the thrower to pick up the ball without touching it, an important feature with a doggy saliva soaked ball).  We throw and throw and throw ....  Guinness loves it.

Today while I was throwing the ball for Guinness I got to thinking and then to timing.  I throw a ball approximately every 30 seconds and usually we're out for an hour - which means

1 outing = 120 throws (catches and returns)  ... yes we are approximating
3 outings per day (120 x 3) = 360 throws (catches and returns)
7 days per week (7 x 360) =  2520 throws (catches and returns)
52 weeks per year (52 x 2520) =  131,040 throws (catches and returns)

OK I know there are days he doesn't get three outings, but there are other days, like on the weekend when John takes him to the beach for a couple of hours or when we go to a cottage and it lasts all day ... so I think it all works out ....

This since Guinness is 3 ... 3 x 131,040 = 393,120 throws (catches and returns).  Or 3 hours per day x 365 days per year 1095 hours per year which is 3,285 hours over Guinness' lifetime so far ...

No wonder he's good.  We're talking about a lot of practice .... now only if I could do that with my golf or hockey skills ... I'd still never be as good as Guinness is ... and I even use pink golf balls!  Maybe I should look for a bright pink hockey puck!

Always the Pylon, Never the Star

I know I am ... but what are you?

I have come to the inevitable (and probably self obvious to others) conclusion, that I'm not going to improve in my ability to play hockey.  It's been a gradual realization, made more apparent by the improvement in my golf game.  I started playing golf a year ago and I'm substantially better (don't get me wrong, nobody is trembling on the LPGA).  I started playing hockey almost 4 years ago and I'm pretty much at the same level as I was when I came out of the beginner program.

It's a simple combination of age, lack of natural ability and lack of practice.  I love the game and my attitude has never wavered - I enjoy the camaraderie, the exercise and the excitement.  I'm proud of the skills, however meagre, that I've garnered along the way.  I want to play the game, I don't want to watch it.

Playing is the crux of the matter.

Last night I played a game, in which I might as well been a pylon.  The opposing team had so many highly skilled players, that carried the puck end to end at such speed, that I might as well not even bother to be on the ice.  It was frustrating, but due to their mockery, it was embarrassing also.  One individual on their team even made disparaging remarks about my level of play when I attempted to take puck from him. 

Such a game isn't fun for me, I fail to see why it would be fun for them.

I play in a league that it supposed to be both co-ed and for the low to mid level player.  This is a recreational league, a beer league would be the best description.  It's a league where my skills belong. 

I get it why some guys want to play in low level league, so they can play with their buddies (or in my case, so my husband can play with me).  What I don't understand, is some of these better players seem to feel that they have to showcase their abilities as if the scouts from the NHL were sitting in the stands. If you're 18 years old and just out of AAA hockey, of course you're going to fly by the  49 year old premenopausal woman whose been playing for four years.  I get it the first time it happens, you're young, you get carried away, but when it's still happening in the third period and then to mock me at the same time ... well now you're just looking pathetic.

It was frustrating.  It was demoralizing.  It wasn't fun like the game is supposed to be.

In a way, I feel sorry that there are people who need to make themselves feel better, by making others look bad.  Buddy, if the highlight of your life is streaking past me on the rink, then your life is pretty small. 

I still went out afterwards and had chicken wings and beer, enjoyed the company of good friends, bitched and complained about the game and then let it go.  I got to spend the evening playing with my stepson (whose highlight of the evening is the premium beer, which he doesn't get while away at university); I then got to return to a beautiful home. to a husband I adore and my stepdaughter who will play golf with me tomorrow.  Life is good, I still won.

... I think I can ... well close enough!

Julie & I before the race .... before The Hill

It all seemed so sensible months ago .... ah the best laid plans ....  Goal setting is supposed to be important in your fitness regime in order to keep things fresh and to keep you motivated.  It all sounds great when you're sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, while you cruise through the Internet looking for a 5K race to run in.  It sounded even better when my friend Julie and stepdaughter Madie decided that they'd join me in the run - The more the merrier I foolishly thought; plus it was almost two months away and I thought I'd be a paragon of fitness by then.

Well the race was last weekend and to be honest it was a blast!  OK, to be honest there were points during the race when I would not describe things as a 'blast', more like 'near death experience', but now that it's all said and done, I would plan on doing another race ... but maybe only in a month or two from now! 

The race was run in the valley behind the Ontario Science Centre, which made it both scenic, as well as challenging, since we had to run down into the valley to run the paths - as Newton's (I believe it's the 3rd) Law states "for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction" - so for the run down at the beginning, it meant that we had to run up at the end.  Julie and I ran together, actually let me qualify that, we jogged slowly together; on the other hand, Madie, since she had not trained and had no idea how to pace herself, actually ran the course. 

There's a certain benefit to being as naive as Madie was during the race.  She simply ran as fast and as long as she could.  In the end, she place second, which is amazing and I hope that it kindles a love of running since she obviously has a talent.

On the other hand, Julie and I simply soldiered through the race, by using a combination of training, slow pace, determination and pride (neither one of us wanted to walk or come last).  Unfortunately we were both defeated by the hill at the end.  I tried conjuring up every running inspirational quote that I knew, but somehow trying to evoke The Little Engine That Could, just couldn't help me ... we both walked up the hill.  Julie started sprinting at the top of the hill, which of course inspired me to do the same!  We ran across the finish line with Julie about 10 feet in front of me (considering that she's 23 years younger than I am, that's pretty good for me, of course we won't discuss that she had recently gotten over an extremely badly sprained ankle, I have to take my small victories where I can).

As a goal, the race worked well.  I have to admit there were days where I might have skipped a workout or gone a little easier, but the spectre of the eventual race was always looming over me!

It wasn't easy, it wasn't pretty, but it was fun!

Weight Loss #12

I've spent a lot of time on the treadmill

I haven't done much blogging lately about my weight loss, mainly because there hasn't been any actual weight loss, though I'm still just a committed to the process as the day I started.

I have continued to modify my eating habits and more importantly have continued to commit myself to a fitness regime.  I just read back over my old blogs about working out and realise just how far I have come.  When I started on January I could barely walk for 30 mins on the treadmill - yesterday I ran for 30 mins at 5 mph!  I'm up to 60 sit ups on the incline bench, as well as 30 L sits on the captain's chair.

yest I actually do this!

My body is definitely firming up!  People have even started complimenting me on the changes that they can see (which always feels good). 

I know have to let go of my obsession with the scales, but it's really hard to do!  I know that my body is converting fat (which I have a whole lot of) into muscle (which I need a lot more of).  I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  I know I've been lifting weights, so I should be gaining muscle.  I know, I know and I know!  But I want the scale to move down too ... I know - just wait!  I know my clothes are fitting way better now and that that is a far better indication of the change in my body.

I'm two weeks away from running my 5K race and I'm confident that I'll be able to run the whole thing in hopefully a sub 30 minute time frame. 

I've also committed to competing in a triathlon in June!  That's a big deal for a woman who could barely walk in January!

So all and all, I'm golfing, running, working out, playing hockey and training for a triathlon.  I'm living the life I enjoy (though with a few more aches and pains).  I just have to believe that at some point the scales will pay attention too.

Between Two Seasons

The Two Sports Actually Go Together Well

It's springtime in Toronto, which means our long, dreary winter is becoming a distant memory.  The dirty piles of snow have melted and little green plants are sprouting up in my garden (whether they're actual plants or weeds really doesn't matter to me).  The days are getting warmer, as well as longer.  No longer can I hide beneath various layers of dark clothing, thus my fitness regime continues with a greater intensity, with the vista of wearing shorts and form fitting T shirts on the horizon.

It also means that it's playoff time for both the NHL and Hockey Toronto Rec League (not that I'm equating the two).  My Leafs didn't make the playoffs for the NHL (really not much of a surprise) and my Co-Ed rec team entered into the playoffs firmly entrenched in 6th place (out of 9 teams, which was also really not much of a surprise).  Tonight we have a playoff game and today the golf range opened up at Donalda (a golf club where our family has a membership).

..... fast forward 2 weeks - Ok I never finished the above entry, but I am now ....

Well hockey playoffs for me were over in one evening, whereas the NHL is just finishing up the quarter finals.  As far as my rec hockey team went, we made it to the finals, but lost 2 - 1 in a well played game.  Our team went further then I thought we would and we went out for pizza and beer (which is what we do after every game - which is what rec hockey is really all about).  I enjoy watch the NHL playoff hockey, since there are far less fights when the games are important.  It's also enjoyable to watch games, where you really couldn't care less as to who wins or loses.  I have a slight affinity for the Vancouver Canucks, only for the reason that they're the last Canadian team still standing.

In less then a week I'll be starting summer hockey, but my real interest right now is turning towards golf.  This past winter John and I spent four days a week hitting off mats indoors whilst receiving various tips on our swings (I received a lot more tips than John).  This has really paid off, in that my game looks like it wont be a total disaster this season.  So far I've only been out to the driving range, but I'm hitting the ball well at least 50% of the time - which is quite the improvement to my approximate 2% of the time last year.

It'll be an interesting summer.  Golf, Hockey, Running a 5K and I'm seriously thinking about competing in a Triathlon. 

Life is good.  Keep your fingers crossed that my knees hold up.

Getting Naked

Recently I've been spending a great deal of time at the gym.  This new found, or rather renewed relationship is necessary for my physical well being, especially at this point in my life!  Just scroll back through some of my previous bloggings and you'll see the whole story behind it.  Suffice it to say, I'm skipping off to the gym 4 or 5 days a week ... OK, skipping might be a bit of misnomer, but I do manage to drag my sorry behind there with alarming frequency.

This particular entry is not about my trials and tribulations with regards to fitness (yeah I did manage to go 30 mins on the treadmill at 4.7 mph today - I so rock).  This entry is more to do with what happens after I work out.  I'm a sweater, no I don't mean the kind you knit & wear, that get adorned with sparkles and reindeer at Christmas - I mean that I'm the kind of person who sweats a great deal when they work out.  No ladylike glistening for me, no sensual dewy face, no erotic single bead of sweat dripping down between my breasts - no, I sweat!  I soak through a T shirt to the point where it can be wrung out, sweat flies off my face when I shake my head and worst of all, a rather clear snot continually runs out of my nose.  My sweatiness is not the stuff of erotica; rather it is the stuff of hard work and let's be honest, smell.  A gasping, premenopausal, sweaty woman is an entity unto itself.

My gym is pretty awesome and the locker rooms are wonderful.  The women's locker room at The Donalda Club has a card playing area, hot tub and steam room; there's frightfully well lit make up area with lots of make upy stuff such as q tips and cotton balls, various hand lotions, sunscreens and hairsprays;  there's an unlimited supply of  fluffy Egyptian cotton towels both in bath and hand towel size.  The showers have a personal changing area and contain razors (disposable), shaving cream, shampoos, conditioners, body wash and even little disposable shower caps.  Oh there are even paper slip on flip flops (that don't fit my big feet). The men's locker room purportedly even has a full size billiards table!  In short it's a veritable locker room paradise and a definite step up from my local Good Life! 

But back to the issue of nudity, which is why I know a great many of you are reading this. 

I was at my locker, stripped off the sweaty work out stuff, wrapped a towel around me and headed off to the steam room.  To my surprise, there was another woman who was already ensconced within the steam room, which wasn't really a big deal, since the room could hold at least 10 people, but what surprised me was she was almost completely mummified in towels!  Far be it from me to judge what one wears to the steam room, but I felt rather scantily clad in my single towel.  The one thing I've noticed in female locker rooms as I've aged, that the older one gets, the more one covers up. 

A million years ago I used to work out in the Yonge and Eglinton area of Toronto.  The gym was quite the singles place, which worked for me because I was single.  Most of the clientele were in their 20s and 30s and fairly fit.  The locker room back then had a lot more nudity than the locker room I inhabit today.  Mainly I think it's because, on the whole,  the members at Donalda are much older (which is OK cause I am too).  There are the sins that too much good food, too much good wine and too much gravity have played upon our bodies.  A good towel is a good thing.

I mentioned the whole towel thing to John, who has also experienced too much good food, too much good wine and just as much gravity (if not more cause he's older than I am), yet he was immensely unconcerned about wearing a towel to cover the imperfections of his body.  His attitude was "if I never wore a towel in a locker room before, why would I wear one now?"  It's kind of hard to fault the logic and demonstrates are far more healthy bodily image.  According to him, it's an attitude that shared by most men in his locker room.  With a little introspection, I think it all ties into the expectations we're fed by the media.  Women have become so self conscious as well as self critical, it's no wonder they take solace in a towel.

Maybe I shouldn't worry about what size my jeans are, but instead I should worry about the size of my towel!

When Men & Women Collide

Hockey can be pretty daunting when one player is substantially

bigger and stronger than another



John and I play in a low to mid level skill league called HockeyToronto.  It's a fairly loosely run organization of nine co-ed teams who are supposed to playing at a recreational level.  On the whole it's a pretty good league and we've met some great people, which to John and I is really the primary purpose of recreational hockey.  We get to have a night out together, get some exercise and enjoy some social beverages - all positive things!

Right now we're in the playoffs, which in itself is a bit of a misnomer, since we entered the playoffs tied for sixth place and the first place team is firmly entrenched in their dominance of the league.  The league is touted as being co-ed, yet a few of the teams (including the first place team) don't have any females on their rosters (which in of itself is a whole other issue that can be explored at a later date).  Yet by labelling a game a 'playoff' it lends itself to a whole aura of expectations and heightened tensions.  At the game last night, the tensions boiled over and when all was said and done, John was ejected from the game and received a subsequent suspension.  John hit a girl ....

For those of you who don't know John, he's the quintessential accountant.  Quiet, reserved and dependable;  he's middle aged, greying at the temples and wears glasses; conservative in views - both politically and fiscally; he loves his family, golf, and his dog (I hope I got the order right).  He wears cardigans for goodness sake!  In short he's everything you would envision an accountant to be (he also has a very wry sense of humour that you'd never expect an account to possess).  John is also a very experienced hockey player who played competitive hockey growing up and even had some interest in him demonstrated by the OHL (he wisely chose the scholastic route instead).  Until two years ago he hadn't played hockey in at least thirty years, though he has been closely involved in the game through coaching.

John is also physically imposing.  He stands 6'4" and weighs 230 lbs.  On top of that he's an excellent technical skater, with awesome puck handling skills (he once scored a goal while standing at his own blue line), but his strongest weapon is his intimate knowledge of the game garnered over thousands and thousands of hours spent involved in the game.

The reason John plays in the aforementioned low/mid league, is in order to play hockey with me.  I can't bring my skills up (lord knows I've tried), but he can ratchet his down.  John plays defense and focuses mainly on passing the puck to set other people up for goals.  He's got a wicked wrist shot (no slap shots allowed), which he rarely utilizes since he's worried about hurting people and doesn't think it's fair to use it at this level.  He might rush with the puck once during a game, but generally claims he's too lazy to do so.  He relies on his long reach to poke check the puck away from onrushing opponents and is uncannily good at doing so, except for last night, where it all went horribly wrong ...

We'd just tied the game up with a few minutes left to play, tensions were running high.  One of the better, bigger and faster (every team puts their best people on at the end) players on the opposing team came rushing with the puck towards our end.  John took his position at the blue line, the onrushing player tried a head deke, but John was far too wise and went for the poke check, the opposing player careened right into John - John didn't fall (see aforementioned height and weight), but the other guy did.  No whistle went, because John hadn't done anything wrong, he didn't have to get out of the player's way for goodness sake - he had the established position!  John turned to get the puck but the player who had careened into him came up charging at John thinking that John had purposely hit him, whereas the puck carrying player should have been charged with body contact, instead  he crosschecked John in the back, causing John to fall to his knees, while another player on the team started hitting John while he was down. 

In all honesty, I think both players thought that John had purposely hit the first player, their own ignorance of the rules causing them to overreact.   Of course everything happened so quickly.  The ref tried to get hold of the player who had first swung at John, but his adrenaline allowed him to keep hitting John from behind, while the second player was hitting him from in front.  John came to his feet and tried to escape when suddenly a third opposing player came right into the fight, instinctively John defended himself by crosschecking the third player - unfortunately the third person in the fight was girl, a rather small girl and John absolutely decked her ... she went down very hard.  All hell started breaking loose.

First of all let me say that I think John was wrong in cross checking.  The fact that she was/is a girl should have nothing to with it.  The ref started freaking out on John in an extremely unprofessional manner about John hitting a girl, completely ignoring the fact that two of their players had hit John (had hit him hard enough to drive him to his knees).  The ref completely ignored that the girl was the third man (girl) in, which should result in a game misconduct.  I honestly have no idea what she was thinking in injecting herself in the middle of fight ... I highly doubt she'll do it again. 

John was put in an untenable situation, the refs couldn't control the fight and a melee ensued. 

Should John have been ejected and suspended for the crosscheck?  I think yes, no matter how justified, it was still a major infraction.  But what about the other players on the opposing team?  All three of them were considered blameless and were allowed to play in the next game, while John had to sit on the sidelines.  The major issue that the ref kept reiterating, was that John hit a girl.  Yet John did not hit a girl, John simply hit an opposing player, who never should have been there in the first place.  In the scant seconds in which the whole incident took place, John never had a chance to asses the sex of the incoming player, he saw the jersey colour only, plus she was wearing a full face cage, further obscuring her sexual identity.

If women want to play hockey with men, they should be treated as equals.  I think in this situation the whole societal taboo of male hitting a female came to the forefront, and obscured the actual hockey rules that should have been in play.  Nobody wants anyone to get hurt and thankfully she was shaken but OK.

John was a true man and apologized to the girl in question and made sure she was alright, and also apologized to the guys on the opposing team. 

Nobody apologized to John. 

Then why am I not a size 2?

To those hockey fanatics who read my blog (if any)

I do know that I haven't been blogging much about hockey lately

I will get back to it .... 

 ... but in the meantime

I hate to admit it, but when I'm cruising the Internet I often get caught by pictures of healthy women (like the one below), accompanied by a headline such as 25 Nutritional Secrets to Help You Reach Your Goal Weight!



I'm old enough and wise enough to know that there really isn't a quick fix for my weight problem.  The answer is simple, in that I need to eat healthily (and in moderation) and exercise more.  Yet for the past three months I've been doing that and my weight loss is stalled, in fact, it's slowly creeping back up.  I know I just have to keep at it ... I know my incipient state of menopause is throwing my metabolism off ... I know the weight took a long time to go on and it'll take longer to get off ... I know all these things, but a silly little part of me wishes that there was some magic pill that I could take and the weight would just fly off!  Thus I find myself reading these Internet articles in hopes of finding some secret knowledge that will help me on my weight loss journey.

So I just finished reading through 25 Best Nutrition Secrets  that had originally come from the magazine Men's Health and had been reposted on msn.ca.  This is what it told me ...

1.      Drink a second cup of coffee

2.      Keep serving dishes off the table

3.      Think before you drink (i.e. don’t drink pop)

4.      Practice total recall

5.      Eat protein at every meal

6.      Choose whole grain bread

7.      Eat Fish

8.      Sign up for weight loss emails

9.      Cut portions by a quarter

10.  Turn off the TV

11.  Put your fork down when you chew

12.  Choose rye (not wheat) for breakfast bread

13.  Eat a handful of fruit and vegetables every day

14.  Sip green tea

15.  Work out before lunch or dinner

16.  Hungover?  Choose asparagus

17.  Sleep 8 hours a night

18.  Discover Miso Soup (helps lower blood pressure)

19.  Drink two glasses of milk a day

20.  Take a zinc supplement

21.  Go ahead eat your favourite foods (in moderation)

22.  Choose foods with the fewest ingredients

23.  Snack on popcorn (without the butter)

24.  Or snack on walnuts

25.  Scramble your breakfast

Ok - lets deal with this one by one

1.      Drink a second cup of coffee

I have since oooh about 2nd year univeristy which is about 30 years ago (ouch)

2.      Keep serving dishes off the table

I never use serving dishes simply because it adds to the clean up and I like plating meals

3.      Think before you drink (i.e. don’t drink pop)

I don't drink pop, maybe the odd diet coke, but I've never been a pop drinker

4.      Practice total recall

This one means I'm supposed to think of my previous meal before I eat my next meal ... let's be real, sometimes I don't even remember why I came into a room ...

5.      Eat protein at every meal

Always, even when I tried to go vegetarian

6.      Choose whole grain bread

Always, more grain the better!  In fact I get a lot of attitude from the teens in my house over this issue

7.      Eat Fish

Can't - allergy

8.      Sign up for weight loss emails

I do, but usually delete them before reading them, because they're about as helpful as these 25 points

9.      Cut portions by a quarter

I do - John gets the biggest, then Madie, then me - mine is far smaller than John's, but he's loosing weight and I'm not ... sigh

10.  Turn off the TV

I've stopped watching the past few years except for the odd episode of Boston Legal on DVD

11.  Put your fork down when you chew

Always have ... my mother beat this one into me when I was young

12.  Choose rye (not wheat) for breakfast bread

Bit of a contradiction to #6

13.  Eat a handful of fruit and vegetables every day

Fresh veggies for dinner every day, I could do better

14.  Sip green tea
As I type - even drink the decaffinated version which is even better

15.  Work out before lunch or dinner
I work out 4 to 5 days a week before lunch, plus play hockey (which I really have no control over the time)

16.  Hungover?  Choose asparagus
I don't drink enough to get hungover, but I do love asparagus and eat it regularly

17.  Sleep 8 hours a night
Try to do this with night sweats and menopause - lets put it this way - I'm in bed 8 hours a night

18.  Discover Miso Soup (helps lower blood pressure)
My blood pressure is 90/55 - if it gets any lower I'll be dead

19.  Drink two glasses of milk a day
I drink a glass at dinner and put milk in my coffee at breakfast, plus eat nonfat yoghurt

20.  Take a zinc supplement
When I remember  -  see point # 4

21.  Go ahead eat your favourite foods (in moderation)
Dude!  This is what I've been doing!

22.  Choose foods with the fewest ingredients
I don't buy a lot of processed food

23.  Snack on popcorn (without the butter)
What's the point without the butter?  I'd rather go without

24.  Or snack on walnuts
I snack on almonds which are supposed to be even better

25.  Scramble your breakfast
I thought I was supposed to eat rye (see # 12)

Well when it's all said and done, the previous 25 nutritional secrets weren't really secret to me, I've been pretty much following them all along.  Hmmmmm I guess I'll keep looking for that magic pill ... in the meantime I'll keep eating properly and working out.