It's Really Quite Simple

John simply having fun

A friend suggested to John that he read the book Younger Next Year written by a Chris Crowley, a former lawyer and Henry Lodge M.D. a board certified internist.  John hasn't read it yet, but I picked it up, since I'm one of those people who will read just about anything.  The book is supposed to be a "revolutionary"  change of attitude towards the aging process.  The authors base their plan on the idea that instead of looking forward to decades of pain as the body slowly deteriorates, it's possible to live as if you were 50, maybe even younger, for the rest of your life.  The book is clearly targeted towards baby boomers who are just now hitting their retirement years and are scared poopless of the aging process. 

To be honest, I didn't find it very revolutionary.  Clearly the masses don't agree, since it sold extremely well and even spawned a website http://www.youngernextyear.com/ that helps promote various spin offs from the original book that of course cost money.  The book follows a set of rules called "Harry's Rules" (Harry is Henry Lodge - I know it's confusing)

Harry's Rules

1. Exercise for six days a week for the rest of your life
2. Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life
3. Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life
4. Spend less than you make
5. Quit eating crap
6. Care
7. Connect & Commit

Heck, all you had to do was watch Oprah for the past few years and you would know all about this.  I've never really followed Oprah that closely, but I remember watching one show, where she made it quite clear that she had more money than she could ever spend in a lifetime and if there was a sure fire quick and easy way to lose weight, than she would have bought it, not matter what cost.  At the end of the day, the only thing that really worked, was eating the right kind of food in moderation and exercising.  It's a fact we all know, but there's a billion dollar industry out there that feeds into the belief that there's a magic potion that can help you lose weight.  The book Younger Next Year simply puts the Oprah show into print (and profits from it).

One thing the book pointed out, is that the rules were much easier to follow if your spouse/partner/significant other/friend joined you in the process.  It simply makes sense that if you're trying to change your life style, than those that will affect and be affected by the change, are on board with you.  I'm really lucky in that respect, since John (even without reading the book) is totally on board with regards to all of Harry's Rules, even before we knew about Harry's Rules.  These days John and I are over at Donalda Club hitting golf balls in the indoor range, working out and sometimes skating on the outdoor rink.  We both enjoy it and we both enjoy cheering each other on in our efforts to drop some weight and get healthy.  On Friday nights we play together in co-ed league - it puts a whole new spin on date night.

At the end of the day, we're all getting older.  I don't need a book to tell me that I need to stay active and eat right ... I just need to do it.

Ménage à Trois

John & I in all our Splendor



Marriage means commitment.  Of course, so does insanity.  ~ Author Unknown

I am someone, to whom words have always come easily.  I was that kid in your English class who could pull together an essay at the last second and receive a great grade (I was the antithesis in math class - see, God is fair).  I've been meaning to blog about what it's like to play hockey on the same team as your spouse, but for some reason I've found that it's a topic that has so far been able to defy my ability to craft some semblance in to my unique situation, without digressing into some schmaltzy Hallmark moment (the today I married my best friend kind of cheese).  I consider myself to be an incredibly lucky lady to have found, albeit later in life, my soul mate and a great defence man all in the same person.  At night I can spoon together with a man who I find incredibly attractive, who protects me from the things that go bump in the night and who manages to cover up for me when I let a pass get past me. 


This is a second marriage for both John and I.  A second marriage is best described as hope triumphing over experience.  Perhaps meeting each other when we were older and wiser put certain aspects into perspective for us both.  When John and I met, I had already made a conscious decision that my divorce, though incredibly painful, would not define me as a person and that I would not let it tarnish my viewpoint towards love and commitment.  At the time, I was busy rebuilding my social life through involvements in sports, something that I had let slip.  Thus I found myself in whirlwind of softball and curling and eventually, through John's suggestion, hockey.  I find it ironic that the great loves of my life, came along together somewhat.  While we dated, my involvement in hockey grew.  Many a date were spent in various arenas watching Jamie, John's son, play competitive hockey, then on weekends we would meet at Toogood pond in Markham to skate on a massive outdoor pond.  My first time stick handling (other than standing in front of a garage door, receiving slap shots from my brother), was with a borrowed stick, as I skated around the pond, watching John interact with his kids, patiently picking Madie up from a snow bank after yet another spill, that I saw the man I was learning to love as an incredible father as he played hockey with his kids.

As John and I became more and more involved, the only aspect that made leaving him at the end of a weekend bearable (we lived about an hour apart), was that I had my adult hockey lessons on Sunday evenings to look forward to.  I'd call him after the lesson, regaling him with all that I had learned and experienced.  He let me prattle on and make sensible suggestions on ways to improve or practice. 

We were living together by the time I started with my beginner team.  He watched our first practice/lesson and was wise enough to respond to my inquiry as to how I did with a simple, "Looked like you were having fun."   He understood and supported the fact that I wanted to play hockey the day after we were married and thus delayed our honeymoon. 

John joined my beginner team after we had become experts (said with tongue in cheek) after one season.  He'd be the oldest on the team and hadn't played and organized game in about 25 years, yet he brought far more experience and expertise to the rink then the rest of our team combined.  At this point I was playing games twice a week and picking up a game of shinny once in a while, we saw it as a way to do something together - a sort of "date night."  Both kids were there for our first game together.  I won't describe that game, let it suffice to say that we were soundly defeated and terribly outplayed (we had moved into a new night and division).  John was the only player on the ice who could really do much to stop the inexorable tide of the other team.  He was exhausted and frustrated by the fact that most of us couldn't take his pass (his shot was a tad more forceful than ours) and that we really didn't know our positional play (I guess that one year had taught us too much).  It was silent in the car on the way home until we started to get close to home.

"You really should backcheck more, you know" he said in an exhausted tone of voice.

"I was backchecking," I replied, "They were 20 years younger than me and faster."

"'Oh."

That's the last conversation that John and I have about my level of play in hockey.  It's now two years later, and we're still playing together!  He's still playing at a level far below his abilities, but since it's easy for him to play down and impossible for me to play better than I am, it suits us. 

I'm 48 and John's 52, I don't know how much longer our bodies will allow us to play hockey.  We've met an incredible array of new friends through our involvement in hockey and don't have any immediate plans of quitting.  I could end this all off with a double entendre with regards to taking and giving a pass between us, but I think by this point you've got the idea of how things are between John, myself and hockey.  Who said a ménage a trois wouldn't work in a marriage?  The three of us seem to be getting along just fine.