If but for chips ....

I try to avoid this aisle when I shop

I love chips!

Nothing fancy, just your basic regular plain chips.  If I'm feeling wild and crazy, I might venture into salt and vinegar variety.

The major problem with this love affair is that the chips love me too.  In fact they love me so much, they don't like to leave me.  They love to linger on my hips, thighs and stomach ... sigh ... such a sensuous, yet tragic love affair!

I know all about Will Power.  At times Will Power is also a very good friend of mine, yet unfortunately, he's far more fickle than Chip, he has a tendency to desert me if Chip gets a little too vocal whilst I'm wandering the aisles at my local grocery store.  I do try to avoid the street where Chip lives, but his neighbour across the road is Perrier, my effervescent Parisian friend, who is so good to me.  Thus when I call upon Perrier, Chip begin his siren's call from across the aisle, of course that's the exact time that Will, perhaps exhausted by Perrier's presence, decides to decamp.  Sometimes Will doesn't show up for hours, days or weeks.  Lets be honest, Will took an extended vacation this summer.

Funnily enough, my friend Chocolate also lives in this aisle, yet she usually is quite understated and quiet.  Sure she murmurs sweet nothings in my ear from time to time, yet usually Will is around during those times (I think he has a crush on Chocolate) and prefers to keep Chocolate to himself.  It's extremely rare that Chocolate will accompany me home from the store - the friendship remains distant and cordial, though she's always there for me when I need her.

Every girl loves a bad boy and Chip is my bad boy!  It seems cruel that when I have a hard time with Chip and decide to break it off, it's usually Chocolate that's there to console me instead of Perrier (of course, sometimes she's a bit too bubbly to have a around during a bad break up).

I thought I had left all this emotional angst behind me High School, but I'm starting to figure out that it may be a life long thing.  I think in the future I'd better be a lot nicer to Will, since I can clearly see that Chip hasn't aged a bit and will continue to look quite yummy for a long time yet.  At least my trips to the grocery store will never be boring.

I would eat more Tomatoes, but it turns out Tom is a fruit!  (hey, I thought it was funny).

A girdle by any other name -

These are really a 1950's version of -

Compression shorts just sound way more cool than the word 'girdle'

So it's been back at the gym for me, with the various sins of my rather enjoyable summer along for the ride.  I can't dwell on the fact that my weight loss train became somewhat derailed over the summer - all I can do is get back on the horse (or the train, if I don't want to mix my metaphors) and keep on riding (which works for both metaphors and literally, since I ride the bike at the gym).

One little nifty piece of clothing that I wear at the gym are compression shorts that I wear under my regular gym shorts.  This allows me to use the various pieces of equipment without showing anybody my underwear.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm no prude and I really couldn't care less if anyone in the gym saw my underwear, but some of the old boys might get a little bothered (whether that might be a positive or negative experience for them, I refuse to dwell upon).  The other excellent aspect of the aforementioned compression shorts, is that it helps to hold in some of the 'jiggly' areas of my body. 

Truth be told, compression shorts are really the new girdle of the new millennium.

Sometimes lycra can be a girl's best friend.

There's a company out there called Spanx that does the same thing with lycra, though it's meant to be worn under regular clothing.

of course the heels help

Compression shorts aren't trying to be a girdle, they're intended for serious athletes (or people like me who pretend to be a serious athlete).  Yet the really great part about them, when I enter the gym, which is covered on one side with floor to ceiling mirrors, my sins are somewhat camouflaged.   The compression shorts make me look better than I really am - at the end of the day it's all about self image and when you think you look good, there's a good chance that you might come back to the gym.  Thus a positive cycle is set in motion (which is this case is correct by literally and metaphorically).