If but for chips ....

I try to avoid this aisle when I shop

I love chips!

Nothing fancy, just your basic regular plain chips.  If I'm feeling wild and crazy, I might venture into salt and vinegar variety.

The major problem with this love affair is that the chips love me too.  In fact they love me so much, they don't like to leave me.  They love to linger on my hips, thighs and stomach ... sigh ... such a sensuous, yet tragic love affair!

I know all about Will Power.  At times Will Power is also a very good friend of mine, yet unfortunately, he's far more fickle than Chip, he has a tendency to desert me if Chip gets a little too vocal whilst I'm wandering the aisles at my local grocery store.  I do try to avoid the street where Chip lives, but his neighbour across the road is Perrier, my effervescent Parisian friend, who is so good to me.  Thus when I call upon Perrier, Chip begin his siren's call from across the aisle, of course that's the exact time that Will, perhaps exhausted by Perrier's presence, decides to decamp.  Sometimes Will doesn't show up for hours, days or weeks.  Lets be honest, Will took an extended vacation this summer.

Funnily enough, my friend Chocolate also lives in this aisle, yet she usually is quite understated and quiet.  Sure she murmurs sweet nothings in my ear from time to time, yet usually Will is around during those times (I think he has a crush on Chocolate) and prefers to keep Chocolate to himself.  It's extremely rare that Chocolate will accompany me home from the store - the friendship remains distant and cordial, though she's always there for me when I need her.

Every girl loves a bad boy and Chip is my bad boy!  It seems cruel that when I have a hard time with Chip and decide to break it off, it's usually Chocolate that's there to console me instead of Perrier (of course, sometimes she's a bit too bubbly to have a around during a bad break up).

I thought I had left all this emotional angst behind me High School, but I'm starting to figure out that it may be a life long thing.  I think in the future I'd better be a lot nicer to Will, since I can clearly see that Chip hasn't aged a bit and will continue to look quite yummy for a long time yet.  At least my trips to the grocery store will never be boring.

I would eat more Tomatoes, but it turns out Tom is a fruit!  (hey, I thought it was funny).