Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Hacking, Hoarking & Hissing

Try doing this when you wear a cage!

I've been sick.  Nothing fatal, just a common cold, but since everybody knows that in the throes of cold's worst symptoms, there's really nothing common about it.  I blame Jamie who was home with us this past week for his University reading week.  He returned home with a lot of dirty laundry, with a lot of hunger for home cooked meals and with a lot of viruses and/or bacteria that young people who live in residences seem to cultivate in droves.  My retribution was less cooking, but since we had a ton of leftovers from a party we hosted on the Family Day Monday, the poor boy did not go hungry!

My lungs are my Achilles heel.  When I get a cold, it always goes straight to my lungs.  This time it took a short bypass in my throat, so when I coughed I sounded like the cartoon character of Mutley laughing!


Luckily I could take the time to recover, which was 2 1/2 days without a voice and a lot of lounging by the fireplace with apple juice.  My two men (John and Jamie) took my other man (Guinness) for his morning walk, so I didn't have to go out in the inclement weather.

I missed Friday night hockey, but was determined to get back to playing for Sunday night.  Thus Sunday found me labouring up and down the ice with various viscous liquids emitting from my nose.  There is nothing ladylike about playing with snot continually running out your nose and phlegm congealing in the back of your throat.  The pros deal with this issue by simply blowing/spitting said liquids onto the ice (or the floor of the bench area), but I differ from the pros (yes, I'm quite aware that that's the understatement of the year), by the fact that I wear a cage.  A face cage in hockey is a wonderful piece of protective equipment, that I wouldn't dream of playing without, but it is a somewhat restrictive, when attempting to rid yourself of the previously mentioned liquids. 

Miss Manners fails to mention what a lady should do when trying to deal with vast quantities of phlegm and and snot while playing hockey.  Come to think of it, I'm sure Miss Manners never utilized the words 'phlegm' or 'snot' in her life.  She does mention the dainty use of a handkerchief when one is face with dilemma of clearing one's nose, but since I don't think I even own a handkerchief (my grandmother is rolling over in her grave), I usually resort to the use of my hockey jersey's sleeve in a pinch (yes, I wash it after every game, even when I'm not sick).

Perhaps when I get better at hockey I will feel confident in raising my mask and spitting on the floor of the bench area.  I play with a lot of guys who do that, even when they don't have colds.  I've found that guys simply like to spit.  Till then, I'll use my sleeve and just hope that Miss Manners never watches hockey.

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